You are currently browsing the monthly archive for April 2008.
I could feel that familiar savior complex creeping up on me again. Oh yes, I recognize it’s symptoms alright and can even point out it’s triggers. Just as summer follows winter and night follows day, this intense burden to “make everything alright” follows a particular order. It’s a mind-game I have grown familiar with and have fought with every ounce of my being. I know the trap and the setting that lays the trap. I know the characters and the plot. I know my weakness. I can nip it at it’s bud now before it bears fruit and wraps it’s vine all over me and takes control. I know what I should do. I know the drill. One way not to get sucked into it again is to stop playing it in my mind. Even writing about it now is one step closer to temptation. It’s addictive.
I must stop.
rk
This morning I spent some time reading the thoughts of a doctor who was recently diagnosed with cancer. Dr Chen is a Professor of Medicine at University of Colorado in Denver and Director of Endoscopy at University of Colorado Hospital. I often wonder how a doctor might respond to one of life’s most feared diseases and especially so if he or she is also a believer in Christ. How does he reconcile the reality of a terminal illness with a good and sovereign God who goes about “healing all” as the Bible tells us. Does he believe God still heals today? What would he say about health and wholeness in the Holy Communion; that healing was purchased for us through the cross? How does a person of medical and scientific background live out his faith when faced with the undeniable facts about his illness? Does he think that all this “faith talk” is just wishful thinking, a way by which we console ourselves or did he indeed find a very real hope, more real then what the test results showed, in the God who promises to walk through fire with us? Is it more difficult for someone who had been trained to make conclusions and decisions based on observable evidences to continue to trust in a God who can’t be proved?
“For many years, “In Me We Trust” was the motto engraved on the coin of my realm.
We all like to think that we are in charge of our own destiny. And if everything appears to be going our way, for a time we can be lulled into thinking that we are in control; that we can actually manipulate the circumstances and details of our daily lives and determine our own future.
But when something earthshaking like cancer strikes, we suddenly realize that we are really not in control of our lives!
As long as we can take in another breath, it is not too late to examine the basis of our faith, or to evaluate the trustworthiness of the object of our faith.
A number of years ago, I slowly began to recognize the bankruptcy of self-reliance and the fallacy of self-sufficiency. Although I still have long way to go in this journey of faith, I have since learned to put my faith in the only Person in life who is truly worthy of our trust. He is the same yesterday, today, and yes, forever (Hebrews 13:8).
And when the storms of life “pulls the rug out” from under me, I have discovered that I am shipwrecked on God’s omnipotence and stranded in His love.”
Last Friday I attended an EQ workshop organized by my company and a question was presented to us; “Is happiness something determined by your externals (circumstances) or is it something you decide for yourself?” Dr Chen demonstrated that it is possible to live a meaningful life with hope, joy and peace even when you know you have less than 18 months to live. In his own words,
“People keep warning me that in this journey with cancer there will be many ups and downs – “roller coaster” feelings of discouragement, anxiety, fear, abandonment, depression, and even anger. But this has not been the case at all!
I marvel at the strength, peace and comfort that I God has granted me. Except for the obvious physical discomfort and side effects of chemo, I sleep soundly at night. And my heart is at ease.
I realize that apart from God’s grace, I could very well be experiencing all of these negative human emotions. I rejoice that God has spared me and my family from these psychological detours.
I suppose some people might assume that I am still in denial! But since I am fully assured of my spiritual destiny no matter what happens to me, and I am confident that God loves me and He is sovereign over every detail of my life, there really isn’t much left to fret about.”
I hope as you read his reflections, whether you’re a believer or not, you will be ministered to as much as I have. This is by no means meant to judge those of us who are still struggling with “choose to be happy anyway”. I fully believe that God’s dealing with each person is unique and different and there is a time and season for everything.
rk
Holy Jesus! American Idol sang a praise song last night on Idol Gives Back!
I almost fell off my couch!
Hollywood finally acknowledges God. Wow…..what can I say. I was simply elated…..and shocked out of my socks that they had the guts to do it on reality TV. Hillsong Australia, they’re singing your song! Shout To The Lord has been an all time favorite contemporary Christian praise and worship song sung in churches all over the world for over 10 years. And last night, in front of millions of viewers, God took center stage. How awesome is that! Although it’s politically incorrect to openly praise and worship God in today’s ultra-sensitive culture, I must say that it is actually a very appropriate song to close the charity concert with. Throughout the entire two and a half hours we were presented with heartbreaking images and reports of suffering both in the US and in Africa, while a stellar casts of celebrities did their part (bless their heart) and implored us to give generously. In the face of such an enormous need, they acknowledged their need for God and for the hope that only He can bring. I think it’s their way of saying, “Lord we can only do so much. We place this burden in Your good and loving hands and trust that You will make all things good so that every tear will be wiped away in due time. You are our Creator, our Savior and our Hope. To whom can we turn to but You? Tonight we want to give to You your rightful place.” That, to me, is humbling and praise worthy.
Yes, they did replace the name “Jesus” with “Shepherd” in the first verse of the song. I can understand why. They want to make it relevant to people of all faith. I don’t have a problem with that. I think it is already a very bold move on their part to actually present this song.
Shout To The Lord on Idol Gives Back
This is the original version, written and presented by Hillsong’s Darlene Zschech.
rk
I have a bad feeling that my daughter’s friend who lives in the same block as us has a serious illness. My daughter is 7-years old and I think this girl is about 9 or 10 -years old. Shortly after Christmas last year, we did not see her anymore. I found out later from my maid that a mysterious growth, about the size of a child’s fist, appeared out of no where on her thigh the day after a Christmas party which my daughter also attended. She had been in and out of hospital ever since. For reasons unknown, her parents prefer not to have visitors for their child and any form of communication is very limited. I can only guessed that they didn’t want to subject their child to insensitive remarks by other children knowing how little children can be. I heard that the girl has lost her hair. Later I got to know from friends that cancer patients had to be isolated for fear of contracting any viruses or germs due to their weaker immunity from chemo sessions. I was deeply grieved when I heard of her condition and feel a profound sadness for both the girl and her family. It wasn’t too long ago they lost their baby boy. I am not sure what was the cause of that. Whatever it was, I must have also been the reason why the boy could never sit up since birth. The family maid had to carry him on a sarong wherever she goes. It think he was only about 2 years of age when he returned to God. How many times can a parent endure such pain?
I’ve only seen the girl a couple of times and the mother probably only once. I don’t even remember her face now. Most of the time the girl comes over to play with Ashley when I was at work. Sometimes my girl will also play at her house. I know that the same group of friends will go down to play at the playground in the evenings. That was all before the mysterious lump showed up. All the other friend’s family are also asking about the girl only to find that the family has isolated themselves.
My maid and I are very heartbroken over this. My maid who is more familiar with the family, is still in touch with their family maid. It is through her that we receive updates on the girl’s condition. All of us wanted to help in anyway that we can but no one knows how best to approach the family since the parents are adamant about not accepting help and not allowing visitors or phone calls. All these were told to us by the family maid. Nothing we could say or do seems right in light of the situation. I don’t blame the parents for wanting to be left alone or even for feeling angry. They had been put through fire and hell not once but twice. They girl is their only child left. They have every right to feel cheated and disappointed with life and with God. I am just very concerned for the girl’s emotional and psychological well being as well besides her mysterious condition. It is not healthy for a young child to be cut off like that. The other day, I heard from my maid that the girl doesn’t behave like she used to anymore; that sometimes she will have wild mood swings and even laugh to herself. It just breaks my heart hearing it.
If any of you reading this are people of prayer, please join me in prayer for Victoria. I tried a new way of prayer yesterday, called Praying in Color and will be dropping it into her mailbox tonight. I hope it will bring some encouragement to the parents and cheer to the child.
rk
Recent Comments