Alright folks, pity party is over. Enough lamentations. My blog entries the past month have been depressing. I am getting sick of it myself.

There have been a little misunderstanding too. There are some who thought all those depressing posts were about my marriage issues. They are wrong. It only make up less than 5% or my entire blog so far. Another group of people thought my life is mostly dark and gloomy. Wrong as well. Life is not a one way road where there are ups and downs along the way. It’s really more like a railway track with 2 lanes. At every point of our journey, there is both good and bad circumstances accompanying us. Sometimes more of one than the other. So even right now as my life seem to suck, there is grace to be found. My problem is I need to adjust my lens to be able to see beauty in the midst of the pain. I have forgotten to actively and consciously look for beauty because I have been busy looking at the other lane. One of the problem with writing an on-line journal is that we tend to write more when we’re down than when we’re happy. It’s no wonder people think we’re depressed all the time.

Last night I had chest pains while in my sleep. Darn! Why must it always happen in the middle of the night? I don’t own a car and trying to get a cab at 3am doesn’t sound appealing. An ambulance would be too dramatic. Besides, I’ve got a date with my 5 year old to watch Disney On Ice tonight. That little darling has been looking forward to it for months. And 2 days from now I’ll be taking my guitar exam. I simply can’t afford to be hospitalized, which I am quite certain I will be if I admit myself into the A&E with a heart attack! But I promise to get myself referred to a specialist after the exam. It’s my second such incident and I don’t want to sit on it cos the first time it happened, I almost collapse. But it has to be after the exam. So why am I telling you this? Because, my dear readers, I felt God is prompting me to quit wallowing in self pity cos He has a lot more in store for me and I know He would want me to write about them. And of course he is also saying – GET YOURSELF A CHECK UP!

So folks, from now on, I’ll try to write from both lanes. Gotta be fair.

rk

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