It was a warm and humid evening and I was content to wait at a table in the air-conditioned section of the café. Going al-fresco this time of the year is unthinkable.

“Waiting for someone, stranger?” a familiar voice called from behind.

I turned around.

“You’re late my dear”

She let out a sheepish smile and mumbled an apology. We placed our order and she settled down quickly on the velvet couch in front of me. It has been a rough week for both of us and we’ve decided we could do with some drinks and time to just be. After what seemed like hours, we paused and let the silence linger for a while.

“Have you ever wondered if God can be trusted?”

She nods into her glass of Budweiser. She knows exactly what I mean. She’d probably asked the same question herself.

“How do we know if God can be trusted, really” I repeated. This time a statement more than a question.

“How can we be sure that what God says about this or that is true? And that his promises will come to pass?”

She smiled. Eyes vacant. Eyes that have known disappointment. Eyes that have trusted but have since become disillusioned. Hopefully…… eyes that are still searching.

“When the reality that we know seems to tell us otherwise, which should we choose? God’s word or reality as we see it?”

“And how do we know if the reality we’re seeing is in fact the true reality? Could there be another higher reality which we have not known but will, if we choose to stick with God?”

We’re content to let those questions linger. Neither expecting any sudden revelation nor for them to dissipate into insignificance.

Sometimes, if I’m honest, I feel like telling God that He lied; that love is not that powerful after all, that treating others the way we want to be treated doesn’t pay – it only gets us hurt in the end, that giving my heart away is foolish cos it’ll only be trampled on. That’s the reality I’ve known.

My blogger friend, Steve, once wanted to know what he is fighting for. He felt like he is fighting a loosing battle. Is there really any good in persevering when time and again, it proves nothing but failure? It is a question all of us who have experienced disappointment ask. It is an important question for we won’t have the strength to continue fighting a battle which we have no reason to fight for. I tried to search the recesses of my wounded heart and came up with something I hope I will be convinced enough to believe.

Regardless of how we feel, we must not quit on God cos He is our only hope. For what would we be left with if we do? Nothing. To give up on God is to give up everything. When we stop believing that God is still at work in our life and that He can and will work good out of our struggles and redeem our pain, we’d have nothing left worth living for. We’re fighting for HOPE. Hanging on to God even if the “out” we wanted did not come is stupidity and blindness to some. Yet it means a lot to God that we do not quit Him even then. Perhaps then we shall have eyes to see the higher reality.

rk

Real conversations in a fictional setting and characters.

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