Recently, I’ve been examining my heart for others and I ask myself these simple questions – especially when I’ve experienced pain, tension, or envy in my relationship:

Do I truly want this person to prosper? Do I want the best for this person? Do I truly want this person to flourish? Do I truly want this person to be restored? Do I truly want God to bless this person?

Here’s the kicker. If I can’t positively answer the questions above, the problem isn’t the other person…it’s me. – Eugene Cho

Pain, tension and envy. Who amongst us is not guilty of them? Eugene accurately points out the problem. These are some of the same searching questions I ask myself whenever feel a disharmony in my spirit, pertaining to relationships. Over the years friends, colleagues and even family members have shared with me their fair share of complaints, gossips and criticisms about other people. To those who were just sharing to get it out of their system, I do not give much input. But to those who genuinely want to be better people and have better relationships, I try to divert their focus to get them to first look at the situation from a new perspective. That almost always involve taking a trip down to their own heart. It is usually not a very pleasant trip. But it is necessary that we first deal with our own heart and our inner motivations. Clear the cobwebs there first if we want to revolutionalize our relationships. Once that is dealt with, we will feel liberated. It frees us to respond in a way that reflects the part of our self that is beautiful and true.

I have gone a good distance when it comes to pain, tension and envy in relationships but there is still quite a lot of ground left to cover. I am still working on it every single time those feelings surface.

The quote above was taken from Eugene’s post on Tiger Woods. It is a good read for personal-reflection (click here for full post), especially if you struggle with the same issues and well, if you want to be a better person generally. Who doesn’t?